Treading the Boards

Easily fifty-percent of the people in my life today have no idea about my past life as a thespian, and of the half who do, at least fifty-percent of them have never seen me formally perform. It was an astonishing realization to me that it had been thirty-three years since I had trod the boards, six years longer than I’ve known TBG, even. He is among those who have never seen me on stage, though he’s known of my desire to return to it someday. That someday has arrived!

From the top…

It is debatable whether I was born with a hambone or not, but it is a certainty that my mama encouraged and instilled a hefty dose of creativity into our family. A favorite game of my brother’s and mine was when she would call out random things for us to be, “Be a bird!” and away we’d go flapping and squawking. “Be a toilet flushing!” and after a very confused silence, we assumed the position of a commode and made our best flushing noises, followed by riotous laughter. Bottom line is that my mama was (still is!) wildly imaginative, and our childhoods were filled with laughter and joy because of it.

At the age of five, when we moved into a house that had a room-wide arch between the living and dining rooms, it made for a natural stage where we were always putting on a show, in true Little Rascals style. Often, a friend or two would join us. The summer I was 11, a friend and I staged a whole outdoor production of The Tortoise and the Hare.

The Hare in The Tortoise and the Hare

We adapted our own script, made all the set pieces, cobbled together the costumes, and posted signs around town advertising our Big Show! A handful of moms and their little kids came to see us for a nickel, and I am quite certain they couldn’t hear a word we said, having not yet learned the art of projection. In junior high, my BFFF and I tried out for a show. Though we were both excellent at reading aloud, we stunk at acting, and for the rest of my school days, the closest I got to the theatre was as an audience member or the occasional extra in the annual talent show.

My re-entry to the acting world came during my first piecemeal year of classes at the University of North Dakota (UND) while I was still active duty in the USAF in Grand Forks, ND. I took a general theatre class to fulfill a requirement, and once I was rubbing elbows with all the crazy characters hanging around the drama department, the bug bit my butt hard. Encouraged to audition by all my new-found friends, I performed an irreverent, smoking, Jewish Lady Macbeth, and I got a part.

Eleonora Duse in Sarah B. Divine! _(UND)

From then on, it was all I wanted to do, though I kept my major in Advertising/Marketing with Theatre as a minor. By the time I was ready to graduate, that minor had become a dual major. Even when I wasn’t one of the performers, I was always involved in every production, often filling more than one role, as was usual for us college students. Until I graduated three years later, I was perpetually in some show, somewhere.

Diana Nichols in California Suite _{(UND/pictured lower right)}

Mrs. Watermellon in The Gloaming, Oh My Darling _{(UND/pink dress, bed on the right)}

Alice Monohan in The Octette Bridge Club _{(Fire Hall Theatre, Grand Forks, ND)}

Peaseblossom in A Midsommer Nights Dreame _(UND)

Evelyn McKissick in Tales of the Lost Formicans _{(UND/red sweater, right, trenchcoat)}

Mrs. Spencer in Merrily We Roll Along _{(UND/sitting at table in back, last one on the right, pink tights!)}

Hilda in The Night of the Iguana _{(Cleveland Playhouse/back row, 3rd from left)}

Lady Boxington/chorus in My Fair Lady _{(Geauga Theater Guild, Chardon, OH/beige skirt center of ea. pic)}

The Hiker in Julia’s Day Out _{(Crooked Cedar Playhouse, Ravensdale WA/far right)}

The last performance I did was another home-staged musical production that my mama, niece, and I created for TBG. It was not the first, nor will it be the last time he’ll seriously question the crazy family into which he married.

Three weeks ago…

There are several local theatre companies out here on the peninsula, all of which I follow on social media, and none of which we’d made time to attend since settling down. Just when a show we might like to see would come up, something stupid like a torn tendon would happen, and I’d sigh longingly as the online notifications would pop up. But three weeks ago, the call went out for auditions at the Olympic Theatre Arts Center right here in downtown Sequim, a big musical for which they needed a lot of people, upping my chances of getting a part. There were three days to choose for auditions, and I watched the first two go by, then on the third evening, I screwed my courage to the sticking place and went in.

The initial auditions consisted of singing a prepared piece and learning a brief dance sequence. The song was done in a small room, solo, in front of the six-member production team. I chose a piece from the last musical I did in college, a song that I didn’t even sing in that show. And I did it acapella. They seemed to love it, they said they loved it, but what else were they going to say in the moment, really? Then it was off to wait for the dancing.

headshots from ~1990

The routine was simple, and even though I hurt the shit out of the second toe on my right foot by merely touching the tip of my shoe to the floor in the first sequence, I denied the pain, danced as if it didn’t hurt, and the next day I got a callback for the second round of auditions. Meanwhile, my toe turned purple.

headshot 1992

The callback auditions consisted of reading from the script (my favorite type of auditions!) and fortunately, didn’t require much from my aubergine and throbbing toe. I threw some ibuprofen on top of the Tylenol and had an absolute blast participating in this round and watching others do the same. I had the distinct feeling that I’d be offered a role, and two days later, I was offered several in the OTA’s production of

SPAMALOT!

If you’re not familiar, Spamalot! is the musical theatre version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and if you don’t know what that is, I can’t help you. As is traditional with this production, single actors play several roles, and while I’m not one of the principal characters, I am in the show literally from beginning to end. I have more than one monologue to memorize, all the songs to learn, choreography to tackle, more quick costume changes than you can shake a sword at, and so much fun I can hardly stand the excitement of it. Weirdly bruised toe, not-yet-completely-functional-left-leg, and whatever else the universe wants to throw at me be damned.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!